Prisoner of Your Heart
by shortyroc
Summary: AU. Lily & James are best friends. Passion and love arise. Risks are taken. Hurdles appear. Lies take over. Heartbreak ensues. Betrayal destroys. Lives crumble. Regret fills one's heart. Confusion holds one life hostage. I am a prisoner of your heart.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Lily, James, Hogwarts and everything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling. Everything you don't is all mine.

author's note: New story. A change of heart is on hiatus for now. It just isn't cutting it for me at the moment. I'm thinking about doing it over. This is my AU L/J story. I have big plans for this one. I know this is short, but it's just the prologue. I wanted you guys to have some background information on what's going on. I would really appreciate your feedback. Oh, and it's rated M for later chapters.

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Prologue:

Lily and James had been best friends for three years. They shared a friendship like no other. They pulled through together when everyone thought they would fail. They filled the holes in each other's lives more completely than anyone else ever had. They taught each other and grew from each other. They knew their friendship was a rarity, and each meant the world to the other. They knew their bond was different and special. It was treasured beyond belief. They talked every day, and their arms were always wide open for the other. If one of them needed the other at two am, the other was always there – even half asleep. If one of them just needed to know that they weren't alone, the other was there to sit on the phone with them, even in silence. They were always there for each other through the little things, and more importantly through all the big things.

Life is a constant motion. It constantly changes. Sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse. In their fifth year, their lives took that course and started to change. Their arguments increased in frequency and duration. No matter, they still held their ground. Feelings started changing, or should I say developing. Lily and James's lives would never be the same. Would they risk everything for the things they wanted most? Would they pull through against the odds? Or would they crumble under the pressure? Would fear hold them back? Or would they fight until the end?

Welcome to Lily and James's rollercoaster ride. Step into a reality of tears, fear, hatred, love, loyalty, deception, twisted lies, laughter, and heartbreak.

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Sound interesting? Do you want to read more? I hope you do. Did i grab your attention? I really hope I did, that way I know if I should bother continuing. Let me know please!

-shortyroc


	2. A Giant Leap of Faith

Disclaimer: JK Rowlings is the genius with the characters. I am the proud owner of the story line.

Author's note: Thank you to my four reviewers for the last chapter. I appreciate all the feedback. I just want to clear up a question I got from the last chapter. This story begins towards the end of their fifth year. It will go on until their seventh year. Not much is going to be in the fifth and sixth year though. I mostly included it to give you a bit of background, but please don't let that discourage you. Give my story a chance please. Most of the writing will be about their seventh year, just please bear with me until I get there. It's essential to my story and I promise to keep you entertained along the way. Please review and enjoy.

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Chapter One: A Giant Leap of Faith

Lily Evans held the silky black dress up to herself and looked in the mirror. _Perfect_ she thought to herself. It was Easter break and some of the students, including herself, had decided to go home for the week. She had about 5 days left of her precious break until it would be time for her to return to her "home away from home".

Lily was getting ready for a large birthday party for one of her friends from the muggle world. She was genuinely excited for it. Lily loved getting dressed up and going to parties, but that wasn't the only thing that she was excited about. The place where the party was going to be was about two blocks away from her best friend's house. Once she was done with the party she'd spend the night at his house. Lately, Lily had been confused about her relationship with James. They had just overcome a three month long fight, but things had been looking to shape up. The only thing was that he just seemed a bit distant with her. She wasn't too concerned, but Lily felt like hanging out again would hopefully give them time to reconnect.

On a deeper level, in the core of Lily's mind, there were many more thoughts of James, but Lily didn't want to think about those. James was one of the best looking guys in the school. A lot of the times though, she couldn't help but wish she could be in his arms, and be the one he declared his love for. She was undeniably physically attracted to him, but she felt connected to him on a higher level, and she had for awhile. She never wanted to admit or have it come up because it risked their friendship, which she happened to consider the most important thing in the world, and Lily didn't know if she could handle losing him as her best friend. James had saved Lily from the grief she had been consumed by when her mother died. The only problem about her feelings for James was that they seemed to be increasing quite a bit over the past few weeks.

Lily shook her head to clear it of those thoughts. She didn't want anything to dampen her night. She would have a great time with her old friends, and then an even greater time with James. As long as she had him in her life, she was more than content. Looking at the clock, Lily decided to quickly slip into her dress, and then she was off…

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At around midnight she ran up the stone steps and knocked lightly on the door. About two seconds later, James opened the door and hazel eyes met green ones. Lily felt her stomach do a flip as James took in her image. _She's gorgeous_ he thought to himself. James snapped out of his thoughts, smiled at her and shut the door behind her. Lily changed and then they both went into James's room to hang out before they would go to sleep. Besides, who goes to sleep as early as midnight anyway, right?

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IN JAMES' ROOM:

Lily jumped onto James' queen-sized bed. James turned on the television and lay down next to Lily. They sat silently watching television for awhile before Lily turned to James and looked at him.

"James, I miss you," she said suddenly.

James turned to look at her green eyes which were swirling with emotion, "Lily, I'm right here."

"But things haven't been the same, James. I'm not expecting them to be perfect, because three months is a long time to be fighting, but I don't know, I just…" Lily trailed off.

James looked at her, "Well how about we talk about it?"

"You'd be okay with that?" Lily asked slowly.

James chuckled, "Lils, did you forget you're my best friend? When have I ever not been okay with talking to you about something?"

Lily shrugged, "You've just seemed really distant since the fight, and I don't know why or if I did something wrong."

James didn't know what to say to her. He knew why it had happened, but he didn't know if he should tell her the truth…

"James Potter, if you're thinking about not telling me the truth, don't even think about it. Best friends right? I can handle whatever it is."

James sighed, "Lily, I don't know.."

"Don't you trust me?" Lily asked a bit hurt.

"Of course I do, Lils," James answered, "It's just…complicated."

"We've got tons of time," Lily assured him.

James took a deep breath, "Well, Lily you have no idea how much that fight hurt me. I hated not being able to talk to you or say hi to you, and not giving you a hug for all that time killed me. You have no idea how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call you, but I was so proud, I couldn't do that. You know how stubborn I am."

Lily lay her head on the pillow next to James' and looked him in the eye, "I know that. We talked about that, you don't have to let that get in between our friendship. It happened, it's old news."

"Let me finish first," James said, "The thing is, not having you as a constant in my life made me realize a lot of things. It made me realize how lucky I am to have you as my best friend, and how much I need you and how much you mean to me. It felt like it was killing me. I've never been so unhappy. That incident though, brought forth so much more that I've been feeling for the longest time.

"You remember when I told you in the winter that I liked you, and you told me how I'm your best friend and you love me lots. Well those feelings haven't gone away. And not having you and everything I was feeling there, was ten times stronger than it would have been with anyone else that would have been just a friend in my heart. I know you don't want to compromise our friendship, and a part of me doesn't either, but I need to gain control of my feelings, and it's harder when I'm around you because then I don't want to anymore. I'm not trying to back out on you Lils. I'd never do that. I just need to gain control again because the last thing I'd want is for you to be uncomfortable and-"

"Shh," Lily put a finger to James' lips. She couldn't keep it to herself anymore, looking at his face – she just couldn't do it.

James looked at her questioningly.

"James, when we were fighting I thought about a lot too. It hurt so much to see you and for you to not even look my way. Every time I saw you with someone else, I got so jealous. In the back of my mind, I've always wondered if there's been more to us than we've realized. But it scares me, even though I think in my heart I've always known what I feel for you is more than just friendship. I find myself thinking about being in your arms and being the one you look at with love in your eyes. I just…I don't know James. I don't know what to tell you. A part of me says we should leave it like it is, but a part of me doesn't want your feelings for me to change."

James took Lily's hand in his and started rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

"You know Lils," James said, "We don't have to make a decision anytime soon. I don't want either of us to regret what we decide or feel pressured. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it. I know you're scared and you have good reason to be, and truthfully I'm scared too, but I think I want to take that chance."

"So do I," Lily replied, "But so much can go wrong. We're putting our friendship on the line. Our friendship means everything to me. It's my entire world, James. I don't know if I could handle it and live if I lost that."

"Would you stop being my friend if things ended," James asked her.

Lily smiled, "No. You wouldn't be able to get rid of me that easily. The only thing that I could seeing ruining us is you cheating on me and leaving me for someone else."

"Well then, my flower, we don't have much to worry about because I would never even dream of cheating on you. Lily, I promise you with everything I have that I will never stop being your best friend. I promise you, Lily. And you know me and my promises. I rarely make promises unless I'm positive I can keep them. I promise to keep this promise. I will give everything I have to keep my promise to you. You can count on that," James assured her.

Lily smiled at him, "I might just take you up on that one."

James smiled and kissed her forehead. "It's almost four. I think it's past your bedtime missy."

Lily scrunched up her nose, "I'm too old for bedtime. Besides I don't want to move."

James laughed. "You can sleep here, Lily. I'm going to go to the guestroom next door."

"Yay me," Lily said to him as he shut the door smiling to himself.

Lily curled under the covers and breathed in the scent of him from his pillows. She quickly fell into a blissful sleep.

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The next morning Lily woke up when she felt a weight besides her own on the bed. She opened her eyes to see James looking at her smiling. He lay down next to her and she snuggled closer to him and put her head on his chest. He then lifted up her shirt a little and rubbed circles into the small of her back. Lily quivered with pleasure. _I could not be any happier right now_ she thought to herself.

After a few minutes Lily's stomach growled. She looked at James and he saw her blushed. He chuckled, "Let's go get something to eat. I think my mom is making pancakes."

"Mmm. Pancakes. My favorite," Lily said jumping out of bed and bolting out of the room. James grinned and followed her downstairs.

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Lily left that afternoon and went back to her house. For the next four days things went great for the two of them. They talked a lot (mostly about their relationship changing) and for once in her life as of late, Lily felt happy and she couldn't wait to see James on their way back to school.

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Lily's vacation had finally come to an end. She frantically packed her bags that Sunday morning and then her and her parents took of to King's Cross Station. Lily said goodbye to her parents and boarded the train. She immediately found the compartment with the marauders in it and she put her trunk in there. They all talk for about an hour and played exploding snap. About halfway through the train ride though, James told Lily he needed to talk to her and the two went off into an empty compartment.

They sat down and closed the blinds. Lily took James' hand into her own. James looked up at her a bit surprised by her boldness.

"James," Lily began, "I want to be with you. Can you honestly promise me that you'll always be my best friend no matter what? And that nothing and no one will ever change that? I'm so scared."

James looked at her intently, "Lily, I promise I will always be your friend and nothing and no one will ever change that. Not even when we're both old and have gray hair. I know if we go out we'd be risking a lot and putting our friendship on the line. Sometimes in life though we have to take chances. I know I would hate feeling the way I do right now and having to spend the rest of my life wondering what would have been."

Lily nodded, "I already made my decision, James. I just needed you to answer that for me."

James waited for her to tell him what her decision was.

"James, I would never forgive myself if I didn't give this a shot. I once heard, 'The things we're most afraid of in life, tend to be the most worthwhile.' I want to be with you. And I hope you feel the same way and want to be with me too. I want to take this giant leap of faith" Lily told him.

James looked at her for a second and then scooped her up into his arms and gave her an enormous hug and kissed her forehead. He was the happiest man in the world at that point, and Lily's heart filled with joy and she closed her eyes soaking up the pure bliss coursing through her body.

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I'm just here to remind you to click the review thingie at the bottom of the screen. It's calling your name and I know deep down you want to click it. Don't fight it, just go with it. D Please review. I look forward to getting your input...if you hated it or enjoyed it? Was it interesting enough for the first chapter? Maybe maybe not? Was it too long? Any changes you want me to consider? Anymore questions? Anything you might want to see? And suggestions for the story or for me as a writer? I look forward to seeing those reviews in my inbox D 

-shortyroc


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